Marriage and Money

I don't know how it is for any other married couple, even my parents, but my marriage and our money were like gasoline and fire when I first got married (just over two years ago). I was obsessed with saving money, even though we weren't really making any, and my wife wanted to be able to do "normal" things, like see a movie every once in a while. Of course we had arguments about money. "You're a spendaholic," I'd accuse her. "You're an obsessive skinflint," she'd shoot back. Ah, the life of newlywed paupers.

I look back on that now, and shudder to think that we were ever like that. Things are so mellow now, and life is going so well that I feel absolutely blessed. We have the money to do fun things, to save for retirement, to save for a house, and to put aside for a rainy day. We don't pinch pennies, and we don't feel the pinch anymore. We've taken several vacations in the last two years. We paid cash for our Christmas gifts (in a manner of speaking - we had the money in the bank to pay for what we bought on credit). We don't carry credit card debt. We walk on water and are loved by all…well, maybe that last part wasn't true, but the rest of it is

If I could take my self of two years ago, and say, "Self, here's how it is," here's what I would probably say:

1) You can only pinch pennies so much before life's no fun anymore. Try making more money instead, it's much more enjoyable.

2) Stop arguing with your wife, and get her on your side. She'll be your best friend if you can just stop fighting about this money baloney.

3) Stop trying to change your wife, and worry about yourself. You've got an attitude problem when it comes to money. Maybe a little humility and gratitude would change how you act.

4) Work out a spending plan that you and your wife can live with, and then just respectfully ask that she stick to what she agreed to. Don't fuss or whine, just act like a grownup and expect that she'll do the same.

5) Waste a little money on her every once in a while. You won't miss it, and she won't ever forget it. P.S. - Flowers are great!

So, that's what I'd say to the "me" of two years ago. He was a little stupid, but I think he'd understand.